Ford and the Vacuum Cleaner
by That GF FAN
Summary: Stanford vs. Modern technology. Can a man with 12 PHD's win a battle against a vacuum cleaner. If you have ever thought about that, this is the story for you.


**Ford and the vacuum cleaner**

 _Cover art by DawnsEternalLight_

* * *

It was a quiet afternoon in the Mystery Shack. Ford came upstairs after a busy day of inventing. As he walked up he felt something under his feet. He looked down to see someone had dropped a bunch of chips on the gift shop floor. Most odd indeed. It was after hours so Soos had left for the day. Ford then notices a vacuum cleaner near the closet. He decides to clean up the mess for Stan and Soos.

He looks down at the vacuum. It was not like any of the old ones he was used to using. "Let's see how do you get this thing to turn on" he said. He then spotted the instructions. "To start, push button and pull start cord". Ford did as the instructions told, he pressed the button and pulled the chord. But it did not start. He kept pressing the button and pulling the chord but nothing happened.

At that moment Dipper walks in. "Hey Grunkle Ford, uhh, what are you doing" he says. "Oh, hi Dipper, I'm trying to get this vacuum cleaner to turn on but it wont work" says Ford. Dipper looks at the instructions and tries it himself. Like with Ford, the vacuum does not start. The two try pulling the chord together but it still will not start. "Uhh this I hopeless, we'll never get this useless thing to start" says Ford.

Then Stan walks in after finishing the last of his tours. "What are you two nerds up to" he says. "Stanley, you know how to get this vacuum cleaner to start. Me and Dipper have been trying to start it for ages" says Ford. "Eh, I don't know" says Stan. "Soos normally uses this thing. Here let me see". He looks at the instructions. "Its simple you just press the button and pull the chord. See". Stan pulls the chord after pressing the button and like before, nothing happens. "Geez, I wish we tried that earlier Stanley" says Ford sarcastically. "Maybe if we all pull on the chord it will start" says Dipper. "Good idea kid, maybe the old thing need some good old elbow grease to get her going" says Stan. Dipper pushes the button and then the three of them pull on the chord as hard as they can. They feel it move quickly and they all fall back. "Did it start" says Ford. "Uhh no but I think I might need a new vacuum" says Stan as he is holding the chord in his hands. They pulled so hard, the chord broke off. "Don't worry, I can fix it" says Ford.

A few minutes (and some good knot tying) later, Ford has the chord reattached, but the vacuum still wont start. The three of them stare at it puzzled. At that moment Mabel and Waddles walk in. "Hey guys, what are you all doing standing around a vacuum cleaner" she says. "We've been trying to get this thing to start but it wont and we've tried everything" says Dipper. "This thing will never work, why do you even have a vacuum that won't start anyways Stanley" says Ford. "What don't look at me, I'm not the one who suggested we all pull the chord at once" says Stan. "Hey how could I have known the thing would break" says Dipper. The three of them start arguing over who is wrong.

Suddenly, they hear the vacuum start up. They look down to see that Mabel has gotten it started. "There we go, it was that easy you guys" she says. "What, how's that even possible" says Ford shocked. "You guys were trying so hard to get the start chord pulled, that you forgot to plug in the power chord" she says laughing and pointing at the power chord plugged into the wall. Dipper, Stan and Ford all facepalm at how small the solution was and how big they had made the problem.

"Well I feel like an idiot now" says Ford. "Ya welcome to the club Mr. I have 12phds" says Stan. "At least I have a PHD" whispers Ford. "Now if you guys excuse me, I have some chips to clean up". Ford looks down to see that the spilled chips are gone. "What where did they go" he says. At that moment, the 4 of them look behind to notice that Waddles had eaten the mess up with crumbs all over his face. "Oh Waddles" says Mabel laughing. Stan and Dipper then join her. Ford looks at the situation. He spent nearly half an hour trying to get a vacuum cleaner started up without realizing he forgot to plug it in, and now a pig just ate the mess up. Eventually even he agrees that the whole story is hilarious and joins in on the laughter.


End file.
